So the other night I was in the pub with Aubergina, Todd Brunner and Rupert von Nutwood and I recorded part of our conversation on my phone because I thought we were saying some brilliant and hilarious stuff. Not surprisingly, said stuff was neither brilliant nor hilarious when listened to sober the next day.

Hi, I'm Phil. I'm the new guy here. I used to write for Sonic Slice before Todd Brunner offered me more money than I'd ever seen in my life to come work here at Sublamental. Now I've relocated to Kent from Surrey, and life is fucking bliss! I am literally sitting in a chair upholstered in £20 notes, drinking champagne out of a golden ram's horn while getting a manicure. There are absolutely NO problems here in the UK. Everything is fine! We should all just continue to look miserable and never stop gazing at our phones because we are the shit!

Stop the presses! (Is that still a thing? I always wanted to say that.) There are brand new mixes of Todd Brunner's Cloud Control album, and they are stunning! Now, as you may know I am a huge fan of this album, and will usually flap off my mouth about it until someone tells me to stop, so it carries no small amount of gravitas when I say: It's like a completely different album! And I mean that in an ever so good way!

Hi kids. We are pleased to announce the first release of a new Sublamental artist, Masking Tapeworm! It's a relentless four song EP of infectious dance grooves and mad textures that we think you Sublamites are really going to like. That's certainly what Count G thought when he discovered Masking Tapeworm on a small island in the Aegean while on holiday, and quickly whisked him into the studio to record these little gems.